The Feeling Good Handbook Read online

  You may be avoiding a particular activity because you predict it will be too difficult and unrewarding. Using the Antiprocrastination Sheet, you can train yourself to test these negative predictions. Each day write down in the appropriate column one or more tasks you have been putting off. If the task requires substantial time and effort, it is best to break it down into a series of small steps so that each one can be completed in fifteen minutes or less. Now write down in the next column how difficult you predict each step of the task will be, using a 0-to-100 percent scale. If you imagine the task will be easy, you can write down a low estimate such as 10 to 20 percent; for harder tasks, use 80 to 90 percent. In the next column, write down your prediction of how satisfying and rewarding it will be to complete each phase of the task, again using the percentage system. Once you've recorded these predictions, go ahead and complete the first step of the task. After you've completed each step, take note of how difficult it actually turned out to be, as well as the amount of pleasure you gained from doing it. Record this information in the last two columns, again using the percentage system.

  Figure 5-3 shows how a college professor used this form to overcome several months of putting off writing a letter applying for a teaching position opening up at another university. As you can see, he anticipated that writing the letter would be difficult and unrewarding. After he recorded his pessimistic predictions, he became curious to outline the letter 90

  Figure 5-3. A professor procrastinated for several months in writing a letter because he imagined it would be difficult and unrewarding. He decided to break the task down into small steps and to predict on a 040-100 percent scale how difficult and rewarding each step would be (see the appropriate columns). After completing each step, he wrote down how difficult and rewarding it actually was. He was amazed to see how off-base his negative expectations really were.

  The Antiprocrastination Sheet

  (Write down the predicted difficulty and satisfaction before you attempt the task. Write down the actual difficulty and satisfaction after you have completed each step.)

  Predicted

  Predicted

  Actual

  Actual

  v:3

  1.

  Activity (Break each task

  Difficulty

  Satisfaction

  Difficulty

  Satisfaction

  Date

  down into small steps)

  (0-100%)

  (0-100%)

  (0-100%)

  (0-100%)

  6/10/76

  1. Outline letter.

  90

  10

  10

  60

  2. Write rough draft.

  90

  10

  10

  75

  3. Type up final draft.

  75

  10

  5

  80

  4. Address the envelope and

  50

  5

  0

  95

  mail the letter.

  David D. Burns, M.D.

  and prepare a rough draft to see if it would be as tedious and unrewarding as he thought. He found to his great surprise that it turned out to be easy and satisfying, and he felt sufficiently motivated that he went on to complete the letter. He recorded this data in the last two columns. The information gained from this experiment so greatly astonished him that he used the Antiprocrastination Sheet in many other areas in his life. Consequently, his productivity and self-confidence underwent a dramatic increase, and his depression disappeared.

  Daily Record of Dysfunctional Thoughts. This record, introduced in Chapter 4, can be used to great advantage when you are overwhelmed by the urge to do nothing. Simply write down the thoughts that run through your mind when you think about a particular task. This will immediately show you what your problem is. Then write down appropriate rational responses that show these thoughts are unrealistic. This will help you mobilize enough energy to take that first difficult step. Once you've done that, you will gain momentum and be on your way.

  An example of this approach is indicated in Figure 5-4.

  Annette is an attractive, young single woman who owns and operates a successful boutique (she is Patient A, described on page 76). She does well during the week because of all the bustle at her store. On weekends she tends to hide away in bed unless she has social activities lined up. The moment she gets into bed, she becomes despondent, yet claims it is beyond her control to get out of bed. As Annette recorded her automatic thoughts one Sunday evening (Figure 5-4), it became obvious what her problems were: She was waiting around until she felt the desire, interest, and energy to do something; she was assuming that there was no point in doing anything since she was alone; and she was persecuting and insulting herself because of her inactivity.

  When she talked back to her thoughts, she reported that the clouds lifted just a bit so that she was able to get up, take a shower, and get dressed. She then felt even better and arranged to meet a friend for dinner and a movie. As she predicted in the Rational Responses column, the more she did, the better she felt.

  If you decide to use this method, be sure you actually write down upsetting thoughts. If you try to figure them out in 92

  Figure 5-4. Daily Record of Dysfunctional Thoughts.

  Date

  Situation

  Emotions

  Automatic Thoughts

  Rational Responses

  Outcome

  7/15/79 I stayed in bed all day Depressed I have no desire to do That's because I'm doing

  Felt some relief

  Sunday—slept off and Exhausted anything.

  nothing. Remember motiva-

  and decided to

  on—no desire or en- Guilty

  tion follows action!

  get up and take

  ergy to get up or do

  Self-hatred

  a shower at least.

  anything productive.

  Lonely

  I don't have the energy I can get out of bed; I'm not to get out of bed.

  crippled.

  I'm a failure as a

  I do succeed at things when I

  person.

  want to. Doing nothing makes

  me depressed and bored, but it

  doesn't mean I'm "a failure

  as a person" because there is

  no such thingl

  I have no real interests. I do have interests, but not when I'm doing nothing. If I

  get started at something, I'll

  probably get more interested.

  I'm self-centered be-

  I do care about other things

  cause I don't care about

  when I'm feeling really good.

  anything that's going on

  It's natural to be less inter-

  around me.

  ested when you're depressed.

  Automatic Thoughts

  Rational Responses

  (continued)

  (continued)

  Most people are out en-

  So what does that have to do

  joying themselves.

  with me? I'm free to do any-

  thing I want to.

  I don't enjoy anything. I enjoy things when I feel good. If I do something I'll

  probably enjoy it once I get

  started, even though it doesn't

  seem that way when I'm lying

  in bed.

  I'll never have a normal

  I have no proof of that; I'm

  energy level.

  working on it now and seeing

  some results. When I feel

  good. I'm full of energy. When

  I get involved in things, I get

  more energetic.

  I don't want to talk to

  So don't! No one's forcing me

  anyone or see anyone.

  to talk. So, decide to do some-

  thing on my own. At least I

 
can get out of bed and start

  doing things.

  FEELING GOOD

  your head, you will in all probability get nowhere because the thoughts that stymie you are slippery and complex. When you try to talk back to them, they'll come at you even harder from all angles with such speed that you won't even know what hit you. But when you write them down, they become exposed to the light of reason. This way you can reflect on them, pinpoint the distortions, and come up with some helpful answers.

  The Pleasure-Predicting Sheet. One of Annette's self-defeating attitudes is her assumption that there is no point in doing anything productive if she is alone. Because of this belief, she does nothing and feels miserable, which just confirms her attitude that it's terrible to be alone.

  Solution: Test your belief that there is no point in doing anything by using the Pleasure-Predicting Sheet shown in Figure 5-5, page 96. Over a period of weeks, schedule a number of activities that contain a potential for personal growth or satisfaction. Do some of them by yourself and some with others. Record who you did each activity with in the appropriate column, and predict how satisfying each will be—be-tween 0 and 100 percent. Then go and do them. In the Actual Satisfaction column, write down how enjoyable each activity really turned out to be. You may be surprised to learn that things you do on your own are more gratifying than you thought.

  Make sure that the things you do by yourself are of equal quality as those you do with others so that your comparisons will be valid. If you choose to eat a TV dinner alone, for example, don't compare it with the fancy French restaurant dinner you share with a friend!

  Figure 5-5 shows the activities of a young man who learned that his girl friend (who lived 200 miles away) had a new boyfriend and didn't want to see him. Instead of moping in self-pity, he became involved with life. You will notice in the last column that the satisfaction levels he experienced by himself ranged from 60 to 90 percent, while those with other people ranged from 30 to 90 percent. This knowledge strengthened his self-reliance because he realized that he wasn't condemned to misery because he lost his girl, and that he didn't need to depend on others to enjoy himself.

  You can use the Pleasure-Predicting Sheet to test a number 95

  Figure 5-5. The Pleasure-Predicting Sheet.

  Activity for Satisfaction.

  Who Did You Do This

  Predicted Satisfaction

  Actual Satisfaction

  (Sense of Achievement

  With? (If Alone,

  Date

  (0-100%). (Write This (0-100%). (Record This

  or Pleasure.)

  Specify Self.)

  Before the Activity.)

  After the Activity.)

  8/2/79

  Reading (1 hour)

  self

  50%

  60%

  8/3/79

  Dinner + bar w/13en

  Ben

  80%

  90%

  8/4/79

  Susan's party

  self

  80%

  85%

  8/5/79

  N.Y.C. and Aunt Helen

  parents and grandma

  40%

  30%

  8/5/79

  Nancy's house

  Nancy and JoeIle

  75%

  65%

  8/6/79

  Dinner at Nancy's

  12 people

  60%

  80%

  8/6/79

  Luci's party

  Luci + 5 people

  70%

  70%

  8/7/79

  Jogging

  self

  60%

  90%

  8/8/79

  Theater

  Luci

  80%

  70%

  8/9/79

  Harry's

  Harry, Jack, Ben and Jim

  60%

  85%

  8/10/79

  Jogging

  self

  70%

  80%

  8/10/79

  Phillies game

  Dad

  50%

  70%

  8/11/79

  Dinner

  Susan and Ben

  70%

  70%

  8/12/79

  Art museum

  self

  60%

  70%

  8/12/79

  Peabody's

  Fred

  80%

  85%

  8/13/79

  Jogging

  self

  70%

  80%

  FEELING GOOD

  of assumptions you might make that lead to procrastination.

  These include:

  1. I can't enjoy anything when I'm alone.

  2. There's no point in doing anything because I failed at something important to me (e.g., I didn't get the job or promotion I had my heart set on).

  3. Since I'm not rich, successful, or famous, I can't really enjoy things to the hilt.

  4. I can't enjoy things unless I'm the center of attention.

  5. Things won't be particularly satisfying unless I can do them perfectly (or successfully).

  6. I wouldn't feel very fulfilled if I did just a part of my work. I've got to get it all done today.

  All of these attitudes will produce a round of self-fulfilling prophecies if you don't put them to the test. If, however, you check them out using the Pleasure-Predicting Sheet, you may be amazed to learn that life can offer you enormous fulfillment. Help yourself!

  A question that commonly comes up about the PleasurePredicting Sheet is: "Suppose I do schedule a number of activities, and I find out they are just as unpleasant as I had anticipated?" This might happen. If so, try noting your negative thoughts and write them down, answering them with the Daily Record of Dysfunctional Thoughts. For example, suppose you go to a restaurant on your own and feel tense. You might be thinking, "These people probably think I'm a loser because I'm here all alone."

  How would you answer this? You might remind yourself that other people's thoughts do not affect your mood one iota. I have demonstrated this to patients by telling them I will think two thoughts about them for fifteen seconds each.

  One thought will be extremely positive, and the other will be intensely negative and insulting. They are to tell me how each of my thoughts affects them. I close my eyes and think, "

  Jack here is a fine person and I like him." Then I think, "

  Jack is the worst person in Pennsylvania." Since Jack doesn't know which thought is which, they have no effect on him!

  Does that brief experiment strike you as trivial? It's not—

  because only your thoughts can ever affect you. For example, if you are in a restaurant feeling miserable because you are 97

  David D. Burns, M.D.

  alone, you really have no idea what people are thinking. It's your thoughts and only yours that are making you feel terrible; you're the only person in the world who can effectively persecute yourself. Why do you label yourself a "loser" because you're in a restaurant alone? Would you be so cruel to someone else? Stop insulting yourself like that! Talk back to that automatic thought with a rational response: "Going to a restaurant alone doesn't make me a loser. I have just as much right to be here as anyone else. If someone doesn't like it, so what? As long as I respect myself, I don't need to be concerned with others' opinions."

  How to Get off Your "But"—the But Rebuttal. Your

  "but" may represent the greatest obstacle to effective action.

  The moment you think of doing something productive, you give yourself excuses hi the form of buts. For example, "I could go out and jog today, BUT . . ."

  1. I'm really too tired to;

  2. I'm just too lazy;

  3. I'm not particularly in the mood, etc.

  Here's another example. "I could cut down on my smoking, BUT .. ."

  1. I don't have that kind of self-discipline;

  2. I don't really
feel like going cold turkey, and cutting down gradually would be slow torture;

  3. I've been too nervous lately.

  If you really want to motivate yourself, you'll have to learn how to get off your but. One way to do this is with the "

  But-Rebuttal Method" shown in Figure 5-6. Suppose it's Saturday and you've scheduled mowing the lawn. You've procrastinated for three weeks, and it looks like a jungle. You tell yourself, "I really should, BUT I'm just not hi the mood."

  Record this in the But column. Now fight back by writing a But Rubuttal: "I'll feel more like it once I get started. When I'm done, I'll feel terrific." Your next impulse will probably be to dream up a new objection: "BUT it's so long it will take forever." Now fight back with a new rebuttal, as shown in Figure 5-6, and continue this process until you've run out of excuses.

  98

  FEELING GOOD

  Figure 5-6. The But-Rebuttal Method. The zigzag arrows trace your thinking pattern as you debate the issue in your mind.

  But Column

  But Rebuttal

  I really should mow the lawn, but I'll feel more like it once I get I'm just not in the mood.

  started. When rm done rn feel

  terrific.

  But now it's so long it would tak

  It won't take that much extra time

  forever.

  with the power mower. I can al-

  ways do a part of it now.

  But I'm too tired.

  So just do some of it and rest.

  I'd rather rest now or watch TV.

  I can, but I won't feel very good about it knowing this chore is

  hanging over my head.

  But rm just too lazy to do it today.

  That can't be true—I've done it on

  numerous occasions in the past.

  Learn to Endorse Yourself Do you frequently convince yourself that what you do doesn't count? If you have this bad habit, you will naturally feel that you never do anything worthwhile. It won't make any difference if you are a Nobel laureate or a gardener—life will seem empty because your sour attitude will take the joy out of all your endeavors and defeat you before you even begin. No wonder you feel unmotivated!

  To reverse this destructive tendency, si good first step would be to pinpoint the self-downing thoughts that cause you to feel this way in the first place. Talk back to these thoughts and replace them with ones that are more objective and self-endorsing. Some examples of this are shown in Figure 5-7. Once you get the knack of it, practice consciously endorsing yourself all day long for the things you do even if they seem trivial. You may not feel a pleasant emotional lift in the beginning, but keep practicing even if it seems mechanical. After a few days you will begin to experience some mood lift, and you will feel more pride about what you're doing.